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The Fall

I fell from such dizzying heights
Like icarus in a widening gyre
Tumbling down in an elegant arc
And spiraling away from all that is safe and certain.

It’s not my fault
I didn’t jump
Only, the footing of my perch
Crumbled under my feet
And though I did not reach out to steady myself
Or try to stop my precipitous downward rush
And though I did embrace gravity’s dangerous curve
And I did spread my wings on the wind like and eagle gliding down from the skies, or a skier sliding down along a vertiginous powdery slope –
It wasn’t my fault
It wasn’t my fault that the crumbling perch fell apart underneath my feet

I fell…

Down, down, the spiral deepens and tightens as my inhibitions fly off like sparks on a giant, screeching grinding stone.
Dizzy, dizzy, I now become disoriented as direction and vertical aspect flee away.
Am I falling or am I flying? How can I not know?
Or am I floating now? Slowly, inexorably down to the fiery red glow of hell now shining softly below me? Am I now caught up in the moral pull of that satanic light that takes all the fallen?

I fell…

But no!
That fast approaching light is not luciferan after all.
It is the dawn! That rises as I crash upward through the clean surface of the water and behold for the first time the sprawling rays of that burning orb in all it’s heady crimson glory and I fly, fly (not fall) and soar out above the depths that formerly drowned my imagination and encased my body in a slow motion pantomime of living.
And lo!
As I shatter the mirror surface of the water and I feel the rush of wind around my face, I open my mouth wide and I fill my lungs with air and for the first time
I
can
breathe!